Let’s Face It, Last Night Was Epic!

Dear World,

Let’s face it, waking up and not remembering what you did last night sucks. I was an epic fail last night at drinking.

This morning started in a panic of, “Oh F, where did I drop my phone?” I was over 100 miles from where I last remember being a non-productive member of society. I also wanted to call my friend, Kate, to make sure she was still alive. The last thing I remember was the valet telling her, “Miss, I cannot allow you to drive.” For whatever reason I just walked off, I think that was the Vodka guiding me into the depths of HELL…

So naturally, this morning I was a little sore and absolutely confused. I finally found my phone nestled in a box of toys, LMAO. I HAD to call Kate…Here is how the 8am conversation went…

ME: OMG I thought I lost my phone.

KATE: Why are you awake?

ME: Taking my kid to school, trying to remember what happened…didn’t you fall down and didn’t the valet refuse to give you your car? Hahahahaha!

KATE: Bitch, that was you!  Ok, the valet part happened to me.

ME: ACK, how did you get home?

KATE: A nice man at the valet offered to drive me…he drove me two blocks and then got out and ran away. I think he was drunker than I was.

ME: (Laughing out loud and literally almost peeing my pants…)

ME: Why did the valet think you were drunk?

KATE: You fell, repeatedly, down the stairs. And we were laying down, on the dock, smoking. I think you thought that was a good idea.

ME: (Laughing in hysterics…) Oh, F. I remember that! My ass hurts! Oh, and weren’t we drinking too.

KATE: Yeah, shots of Vodka. And I think when I got home, it was 9pm. I felt as if I had been drinking for 7 hours.

ME: We did…Great idea. Well, I don’t feel very Russian today. I think I’m going to keep drinking…(sound of really cheap and morally demeaning beer cracking open).

KATE: Let’s do it again…


That is all I can remember at this point. I think drinking more will bring back more memories of the epic-ally lol-tastic time I had.




~ by winnieswineworld on May 28, 2010.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: